Thursday, December 9, 2010

Reverb 10: December 10th: Wisdom

This post is part of Reverb 10.

December 10 – Wisdom

Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?

(Author: Susannah Conway)

I usually dislike cryptic feel-good cliche'd phrases like "everything happens for a reason." Of course everything happens for a reason. If one of my children is running away from me and trips over his shoelace, BAM, a reason. He fell because the universe has a sense of humor and for one second, was on my side. ;)

This year, my wisest decision isn't turning out so great for me. Yet I still consider it my wisest decision. I'm going with the "everything happens for a reason" camp. My wisest 2010 decision was also my most difficult, as is par for the course. It probably wouldn't be so wise if it were easy.

This fall, I made the decision to step away from the graphic design business and get a job outside the home with benefits. I am loving my job with Hewlett-Packard. When I made the decision to close up shop and start looking, it kind of depressed me. I laid around the house for a solid week, watching TV and avoiding doing anything I didn't have to do. Once I began my search, though, and found the job at HP, I have loved every minute of it.

All of a sudden, Friday meant something again. I love looking forward to the weekend because my work is done. I love the structure it adds to my day. I love the feeling of self-worth I get in having a purpose *other* than raising my children (I do love that purpose, too). I love getting out of the house 5 days a week and interacting with other adults. It was a tough decision but it wound up being a wise one.

This prompt is twofold, however. How is it playing out, you ask?

Well that part, not so well. We found out that we are facing pretty much guaranteed layoffs in the Spring and of course, that makes me sad. I'm still not sorry I made this decision, though. I'll learn everything I can while I am here, I'll enjoy every moment I can until it's over, and I'll take with me life experience and the confidence that I can have life outside of being a mommy. I love my kids more than anything, but I'm also learning to love the me that remains when I'm done wiping noses, changing diapers, and giving snuggles.

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